Photography School Begins

I haven't updated this blog in awhile because the words go through my head and I spend time working on the images and then time runs out. Plus, I've been frustrated with my lack of inspiration and the need to sharpen my skills. And then there is the part of me that would like to load up into the travel trailer and start following the birds now. I want to go everywhere and see every bird all at once.

My first inclination is to start traveling and my second one is to take the steps backward and strength my foundation before moving forward with my dreams. Besides, they aren't completely defined or set in stone. The part of me that wants to shoot wildlife, or birds, and the part of me who wants to capture the human experiences of hard times, joyful moments and all of the seconds in between. I am torn between the journalism/documentary side of photography and the capturing of the wild and beautiful. It is my belief that my focus will narrow and become sharper as I continue this road of learning and discovery.

So, today was my first as a full-time photography student. I drove the 45 minutes to school and found that I was registered for two classes at the same time and that it wasn't going to work. I couldn't find my classroom and the whole college scene might as well be happening on another planet. It has changed that much. We learn and participate as much on the computer as we do in person - some of that personal touch is gone. I will be stretching me and what I can capture with my cameras. That is scary. Where did I get the idea that I was supposed to know it all, even before the class starts? That is insane sort of thinking!

I left school feeling a bit overwhelmed and scared. Fear stunts my growth and so I tried to shake it off. Fear drives away my passion and so I dug deep in search of it. The day had been filled with dark and dull clouds, rain, snow and hail, all without much light. But, as I drove the freeway back to my little town, a snowcapped mountain emerged from heavy cumulus clouds that spread into blue sky, which quickly sand into the dark and ominous. Bubbles of light were popping up all over the sky and landscape, often quickly shadowed by the dark. I felt the stirring and the longing and realized that I haven't been here long enough to have identified places to shoot. So, I went to the water and the birds. I shot until the sun sank behind those storm clouds and then went home to throw grass seed on the barren earth, wash the dishes, fix something to eat, sweep the floors and put fresh sheets on the bed. I'll never have it all done and be completely ready for what lies ahead. Things will have to be set aside.

My mind went through the list of what needed to go and decided that social networking and blogging were out. And then I looked at the syllabus for tomorrow's class and discovered that having and maintaining a photography blog was part of the outline. Well, I could fight it or get a head start, though it probably won't count. So, here I am, updating my photography blog, which in and of itself isn't well defined but maybe that will change. Secretly, I'm relieved to not be setting aside the writing and documenting of my experiences - perhaps this will restructure the way in which I do it.